2012 - The Year of Living with Losses

I put off posting anything at all this year, partly because I didn't want to make this beauty blog into an online diary for my daily life, which I'd like to keep separate from this blog as this is my haven from my mad mad life. Another reason was also because I almost had no will to pretty myself up with 2 HUGE losses in my life.  But then, it's the routine of showering, putting on makeup and making a major decision of which lipstick to apply (although my go to color these days would usually be nude and pale one) that keeps me sane.

When fireworks were lighting the early hours in January 1st, I lost my father.  He was hospitalized and put in an intensive care for a mere 9 hours before he was gone.  He's living with his stroke for the past 11 years and never had he been careless about his health, OK, he's a foodie, loved good food and good company and maybe had few lapses, but overall, he always took a good care of himself.  So losing him was a shock to our family.

43 days later, I lost my husband.  He died of a heart attack. We never even thought he had heart problem until the day before he died.  He was in the intensive care unit for less than 6 hours before he was gone.  To say that I was in shock was an understatement.  If it's not for my 3 little kids, I might have had a deep depression.  I used to think that I was a very strong woman.  Little did I realize that I got half of my strength from my husband, my silent partner.  He indulged me with my antics so I could be who I was and now when he was gone, I didn't know who I was anymore.  I am this bird who lost half its wing and is forgetting how to fly.

 Everyone has been telling me that I'm strong, but it's been 47 days and all I want  to do is bawling like a mad woman, wearing a long gown, with tubs of ice cream ripped open and empty here and there.  If it's not for tube of new lipsticks, God knows who or what would claim my mind. I might get much better later, but for now, the simplicity of swiping lipstick on my lips is the one thing that gets me ready to tackle the day. 

So let me share 4 new lipsticks I purchased this year.  The first 3 were drugstore brands and cost me less than Rp 100,000 each, while the last one was high street brand, YSL.

Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Gumdrop - fabulous purplish lipstick balmish

Max Factor Elixir in Firefly - supposedly repair your lips texture in 7 days

Wardah #36 - Indonesia's local brand for those who want halal makeup

Wardah #36, Max Factor Elixir in Firefly, Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Gumdrop

 I'll take a picture and a swatch for YSL Rouge Pur Couture Vernis A Levres later.  I'm indulging myself with the above cheaper lipsticks because I'm trying to stop myself from buying another YSL glossy stain after getting #12 - Corail Fauve. Say No to temptation.